Swollen eyes.
Friday, December 19, 2008, ϟ 0 shout(s)

I dont know how to describe today. Let's just say IT WAS NOT MY DAY.

1. I couldnt eat dinner. I dont know why. Hunger Pangs now. And at 6+, My Maid and My sister HAD to come and agitate me. They practically FORCED me to dinner. I wanted to. But my stomach rejected. What the HELL did you expect me to do? Beat my stomach? Trust me, if i can, i WOULD. But the point is my sister and maid made me scream at them and end up crying. Despite the fact that i had no energy. =( And now im a little weak.

2. My laogong went to Japan already. Guess he did not bring his phone with him . Should be at the airport now. Hope you have a safe trip. However, im gonna miss you loads and my heart will ache. Nothing WILL function well. But i promised him to enjoy my holiday on cruise. ONLY on cruise. And i cried. AGAIN.

3. Hah. At 10.05 pm . 19th December 2008 . Friday . It was the day/date and time my father scolded me for the first time in my life . Even though i did practically nothing wrong . WOW. Guess im a rebellious kid. Wanna know what i did? NOTHING. i went down to try and grab a small brownie and try to eat it. Well, it worked. i ate it. So im a little full. A LITTLE. And i was still angry at my sister. For th incident (1). Look above ^^.
T^T Then i knocked into her by accident and a little purposely too . Because she kicked me when i was watching 小娘惹。 Then my brother pushed her hard. IT WASNT ME OK?!
And my dad was in the room. Just as i walked into the room, my sister came in and beat my leg and started 'CRYING'. Then my dad thought i bullied her. So he screamed at me. When he dint get the facts right. RIGHT FROM THE START, AT 6PM, MY SISTER STARTED BULLYING ME. I WAS SAD ENOUGH THAT HE WAS GOING JAPAN, THAT IM HUNGRY, THAT I WAS BULLIED BY HER. YET, MY DAD HAD TO SCOLD ME. WITHOUT KNOWING THE FACTS. GREAT. THE PERFECT DAD IMAGE IN MY MIND HAD JUST BEEN RUINED. AS I CRIED IN MY ROOM, HE STILL HAD TO COME AND INSIST I OPEN THE DOOR. AND SAID ME AND MY SISTER BETTER SORT THINGS OUT. WTF LA PLEASE. IT WAS NEVER MY FAULT. AND MY SISTER TOLD ME [AFTER MY DAD LEFT THE ROOM]:" DONT CRY LA. CRY UNTIL LIKE THIS. ==''
OK. GET MY POINT? SHE WAS PLAINLY TRYING TO ACT. SHE DIDNT EVEN SOUND LIKE SHE WAS CRYING ANYMORE. SHE ACTED IN FRONT OF MY DAD. SYMPATHETIC KID. _l_
I left to the washroom. There would be peace there. And i squatted on the floor. Thinking about everything. About me getting scolded in school by friends. Being unappreciated. Having a tough time with homework. Crying at school. And i thought home was the one place i could be free and would not cry. Because i THOUGHT i had a loving family. With parents who dote on me. When i do well in work, they give me rewards. Boast about it infront of others. When i do badly, they tell the whole world and gives me the what-a-letdown look. They compare me with others. So i seek stress-free world in my laptop. YET? My siblings HAVE to irritate me. Then now, everywhere is a place i hate. INCLUDING HOME. I cant do whatever i want. Even what time to eat, my MAID has to bother. FOR **** SAKE! THIS IS MY HOME! I should deserve freedom right? I try to be good. Nobody cares. I turn bad a little and i get all the attention. [ in the bad way]. What kind of life is this? And i decided. In the washroom. Since my parents dont like me to be the bad girl. the one who always [as they say it] BULLY my siblings. The one who is rebellious (WHEN IM NOT).Then i'll show them that im good. I'll listen to everything they say. Including when to eat. When to sleep. When to shit. EVERYTHING. Im a good girl. If thats what will actually make them happy. And AMELIA: THANKS FOR RUINING THE PERFECT IMAGE OF MY DAD IN FRONT OF ME. THANKS ALOT.

Im supposed to say i hate you. But since im the good girl now. I will say ily. WHICH WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY WONT IT? AMELIA. THANKS ALOT. Thanks to you. I have swollen eyes. Thanks to you. I will never be able to learn and forgive others. HAH.
败你所赐。I THINK there's such a 成语.

<33 Hah. Being the good girl?

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