End of examinations.
Friday, October 16, 2009, ϟ 0 shout(s)
A month ago, it was the END OF YEAR EXAMINATIONs.
Now, it's the END OF EXAMs.
Boom shit.
Habbo's burning with the topic of Ris. What the. I know. It does not make any sense.
Whatever.
Just accompanied Jess on audi. She's feeling so down. I saw her cry once more. Why? I don't know.
Jason, i hope you can comfort her. Please and thank you.
Went to bugis Junction today.
Jacob and jess. Foul mood much?
Jacob refused to take neoprints with us. What was that.
We travelled all the way to Bugis and she says no, even fussing up so much.
Fine. So Jess and i had fun. So much fun.
We screamed and jumped, until the machine shook like insane.
Ripped small picture of neos from Kez darl. :
(Click to zoom in)
Nice? I like the GuanYin one.
But, my heart aches. So much. I wanted to cry as well.
At LRT station, i thought i was hallucinating.
There was so much resemblance you know?
From back view, side view. I thought it was, but reality struck and it wasn't.
Im missing him so much. Why the stupid quarrels. Idk. He said i was nonchalent.
Ok. Forget it. I'll self delude. I promise you, i will. I will keep using temporary methods to numb myself. Since you like it that much. I have forgotten about Saturday, but not about the 14th of October. I waited until 23:30. Nothing.
You want me to have joy once more? I will. I am now. I'll do everything i can. Im not as weak as jess. I won't cry like hell to make you come back. It really isn't worth your time and mine to make our lives miserable. Over a bloody incident. No.
Honestly, there is no place on earth where you can live in self denial and happiness. Yes, im a bitch.
No worries about that. I know how to live on.
But, i don't know what to do now. I thought that when the examinations end, will come fun. I was utterly wrong. There is no such thing. I thought we could spend time together like we did. I want to. But since, you are stressed out, then i wont. Alright? I wont. I won't bother you. I'll wait.
End of 2009 examinations, Mathematics Paper 1 was simple enough. I did it.
Now it's time to hope for everything to run smoothly.
As a matter of fact, i got chosen for the speech competition. The Oral Communications Course. Tsk. Nice? But, i won't have the mood by Wednesday, not unless something changes.
Daddy's leaving for China this monday.
Kez's leaving for Vietnam next month.
He might be leaving me for good.
Just when my birthday is arriving, just when i thought i would have an awesome time.
No.
Chalets are all fully booked.
Friends are all fully booked.
Nobody is here to celebrate anymore.
They say they would.
Now? It was a bluff, a bluff that worked on me.
This time round, nobody will celebrate the 14th birthday with me. Fourteen. Fugged up fourteen. I feel cheated, alone and unwanted.
Kez was supposed to be here with me. Was supposed to go on a trip with me. She lied. She's leaving, she's not coming back in time for my birthday. I spent hers with her. She's not.
Kelly has left. Why? You wanted me to meet you for my surprise. You promised. You lied. You're not coming back either, are you?
Why? The two people. The two, other than my parents, dearest to me.
Never. Ever.
Never will it be the same.
Now im lost, in a maze im trying to figure.
I had a dream last night. About me taking drills in school.
It's as though a hint, to tell me about the responsibilities i have. To tell me not to do things i shouldn't. Now what?
Is it really time? I don't want to.
Leaving people behind is not right. God will never let me go to heaven.
Suicide, a bloody waste of love.
Suicide, a bloody waste of time.
Wotd: Hallucination.
Sotd: Heaven isn't a place on earth.
Qotd: Am i really spending my birthday alone?
♥ALICIA.
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